tiistai 28. toukokuuta 2013

31 days in Belgium

My Belgium is bright green and brick red. It's the color of cobblestone streets and the old stone houses.
It smells like rain, antique furniture and warm waffles from the street stand.

Today I have exactly a month of my exchange left. 31 days. I'm so happy and sad and afraid. All emotions flowing at the same time. Being excited to come home and devastated to leave at the same time makes me calm for some reason, and thinking about leaving doesn't make me sad, just sort of melancholic.

I love this country in all it's weirdness, in all it's beauty and all it's ugliness. I love to feel like I belong here, and I'm afraid to feel like I belong here. I know this country almost like I know home. The thought of going back is scary and relieving at the same time.

I've learned a lot during this year. I'm more determined, I know better what's important to me. I'm more tolerant. But I think I won't face the biggest changes before actually going home to the middle of everything.

I've made friends for a lifetime, and met so many others who will forever stay in my mind, from whom I've learned a lot, and who have changed me. It's a sad thought that in 30 days everyone will go back home to their lives and god knows when we'll see each other again.

I think one of the most important things to all humans is to have a place to call home, and now I'm privileged to have two. I have two homes, two families. I know I can always come back and I will be taken as a family member, and I couldn't be more grateful for that.

I still have time to finish the list in my head of things I want to do before leaving. My last weeks here will be full of everything amazing, so the little time I have left surely won't go to waste.

I find myself thinking about home more often than before, planning things that I want to do first when I get there, trips that I want to make with friends during the summer. I'm not homesick though, I just tend to live in the future, and that annoys me. A mexican exchange student that I know wrote to facebook: I hope there was a way of knowing you're in the good old days before they're already behind you.

1 kommentti:

  1. Haha oon vaikka miten pitkään käyny tsekkailee tätä sun blogia, ja nyt kun sun vaihtovuosi on melkein loppu nii vihdoinki klikkasin tota liity lukijaksi -kohtaa :D Tätä on niin kiva lukea ja kirjotat hirmu hyvin, itelleki tulee halu lähteä vaihtoon! Ja jos ei mun nimi tai naama sytytä mitään lamppuja sulla niin oltiin viime kesänä samaan aikaan Funparkissa töissä :)
    Vietä nyt hyvä loppuaika siellä ja tervetuloo takas Suomeen sitte kun se aika on! :)