tiistai 25. kesäkuuta 2013

saying goodbyes

“I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don’t care if it’s a sad good-bye or a bad good-bye, but when I leave a place I like to know I’m leaving it. If you don’t you feel even worse.” 
― J.D Sadlinger, The catcher in the rye

I have two more nights left in Belgium before the youth seminar in Berlin that will end my exchange year. I  have to say goodbye to all of my friends and my family, all the people that have become my network of trust and support. For some of them I can say au revoir, knowing that we'll meet again already during this year, but for some of them, I don't know when, if ever, I'll see them again, and that makes the goodbyes even harder to understand. How do you say goodbye to someone forever? I still haven't had the shock of leaving, and I feel like I'm floating all the time, like I'm in a dream. 

I don't have regrets but I feel like the time went by too fast to do enough, to spend enough time with the people I love. But I guess there would never enough time. 

“This is a long goodbye, yet not time enough. I have no aptitude for this. I cannot learn this. I would hold on, and hold on, until my hands clutch at emptiness.” 

― Juliet Marillier, Son of the shadows

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